http://imbrued.wordpress.com I need some meaning I can memorize, the kind I have always seems to slip my mind. Wed, 24 Nov 2010 00:08:28 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ http://s2.wp.com/i/buttonw-com.png http://imbrued.wordpress.com http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/11/24/wake-up/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/11/24/wake-up/#comments Wed, 24 Nov 2010 00:08:28 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/?p=38 ]]> I read the poem you sent me. I dissect every line. I bite off small morsels to digest the message. You’re in pain and lonely. I feel that coursing through my veins. I get to the part where you apologize, the poetry turns to writers block, and I choke on the ambiguity. What is it exactly you are sorry for I wonder? Pain is ubiquitous, but if only you could articulate the pain you caused, as eloquently as that which has been put upon you, perhaps then I could be nourished by these words. While you toil with prose about what went wrong, I shall toil that you must ask. While you ask for my forgiveness, I shall wonder if you understand what it is that requires forgiving. I am not eloquent. I have been accused of being too raw for most tastes. That being said, those who have known me at my worst and my best, know my heart is good. I know my heart is good, I know I have been good to you. I know my dreams for you, and my hopes for you. I know the frustration of not inspiring you to make them reality. You don’t like who I was, or who I am. Any logical person would say, “this is the wrong gal for me” instead of trying to hammer this square peg into a round hole.

Filed under: Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/11/24/wake-up/feed/ 0 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/10/02/bring-it-on/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/10/02/bring-it-on/#comments Sat, 02 Oct 2010 23:11:57 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/?p=36 ]]> Well I’ve just about had it. I get bombarded by the Jesus fish plates, the you need to be saved speeches. Not a one has any concern whether they are offending me because their religion is the right one. Its by definition their responsibility to pass it on. But it is offensive. And while I have to worry if my religion, or lack there of, might offend them, they care not if they offend me. Sounds rather like the crusades. Here is my thought, the church rakes in millions, and pays no tax. Christian schools are not bound to board of ed standards. This means they can say or teach as they please in their school or church. Here is the beauty of the separation of Church and State. Yet its not good enough for the fundamentalists. You gotta get in my public school. If you weasel your way into my science class…you’ll find one atheist up for the fight!

Filed under: Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/10/02/bring-it-on/feed/ 0 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/08/18/in-case-you-were-wondering/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/08/18/in-case-you-were-wondering/#comments Wed, 18 Aug 2010 21:15:42 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/?p=34 ]]> Yeah so you call. When you have minutes on the phone I gave you. You want my understanding. My compassion. You have your mom putting food on your table. You have your Dad offering you your old job back. Well damn, guess its all working out for you. Wait for you? Wait for what? Do you know what being a single mom is like? Dad isn’t feeding us, he isn’t here. I explain to the kids you love them, I lie. I put on the magic show of finances, work and bills. I should be on a stage making it All appear to come together. Im tired at the end of the day. But Im the hero in this story. Im the hero because I stay and fulfill my promise to my family. You left your home, you left your family, and we don’t need you anymore.

Filed under: Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/08/18/in-case-you-were-wondering/feed/ 0 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/08/13/a-formal-complaint/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/08/13/a-formal-complaint/#comments Fri, 13 Aug 2010 20:24:26 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/?p=32 ]]> Dear Y chromosome,
I am writing to you to express my discontent. You see, several times I have bought into your advertisements, only to be let down with the actual product. While your prototypes appear to function well on screen, those in the general population are faulty. Most do not execute even the most menial of tasks as described in your brochure. I realize that this is why your corporation is shrinking by an average of ten percent per decade and I am willing to offer you my advice to save your company.
Tip one, instead of wasting valuable DNA on striking good looks, try perhaps reallocating some of those resources into some form of talent, recent focus groups have shown women prefer the illusion of empathy over bulging pecks, i.e. Steven Tyler.
Tip two, make a product that doesn’t constantly need to be replaced. I realize its beneficial for a company to have good demand for what they sell, but six months to a year of reliability is forcing most women to look into what X Corp has to offer.
Tip three, stop selling your best examples to Hollywood or Disney. While it forces us to buy, it leads to disappointment. This marketing strategy forces us all to believe in these happily ever afters. When your product falls short, its your consumer who suffers.
This is a warning Mr. Y chromosome, there are already species out there that become asexual in the absence of your product. We want you, but we don’t need you. Time to clean up your act.
Respectfully yours,
Me

Filed under: Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/08/13/a-formal-complaint/feed/ 2 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/08/13/swimming-lessons-needed/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/08/13/swimming-lessons-needed/#comments Fri, 13 Aug 2010 10:15:37 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/?p=30 ]]> This is not an easy pool to dive back into, the water these days is not as clear as it once was, and I have difficulty seeing what lies on the bottom. The fountains are still here, ornate and yearning to be brought back to life, but the spigots are rusty. My mind is restless these days. When I should be cleaning my own backyard, I tend to admire the yards of others instead. Perhaps I’ve just grown lazy with all these chores and responsibilities. Sticking money in outstretched hands with nothing left over. Some days it all seems so noble, and others just downright insane. My kitchen is full of all the recipes for success, but I cant afford the ingredients.

Filed under: Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/08/13/swimming-lessons-needed/feed/ 0 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/oh-yeah/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/oh-yeah/#comments Thu, 29 Jul 2010 09:35:29 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/?p=28 ]]> This little corner of internet space. Ive been gone so long. I suppose that means I should have a great deal to say…maybe, but I think for now, it was just nice visiting.

Filed under: Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/oh-yeah/feed/ 1 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/05/16/vegas-baby/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/05/16/vegas-baby/#comments Sat, 16 May 2009 00:51:28 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/05/16/vegas-baby/ ]]> Memories flutter in my head like streamers off the handlebars of my first two- wheeler; giving the unseen wind a voice, validating its existence.
There are days Id be happier to have amnesia.
Proverbs such as “A calm sea never made a great sailor” would imply that I should be an expert at navigating this tumultuous life.
Yet I have felt more often like the sailor in Homer’s Gulf Stream,
than a seasoned Captain.
Im fucking pissed.
My hand is always one card short of a straight flush.
A less honest person would keep that card up their sleeve.
You pay or you play.
At this table, I play AND I pay.
Itd almost be worth it if the drinks were free.

Posted in Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/05/16/vegas-baby/feed/ 0 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/joshua/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/joshua/#comments Fri, 15 May 2009 19:34:26 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/joshua/ ]]> I recognized you from a recurring dream
there were no grassy fields or winding streams
just distant flames and muffled screams
across the cracked and barren land.
where the kids with shiners congregate
to share the lies or tempt their fate
to lick their wounds or subjugate
the scars that still remain.
And through this prisons cold steel bars
I saw you there amongst the stars
blinding as the high beams of oncoming cars
always beyond my reach.
in the loneliness of waking hours
I could close my eyes and feel your power
from last nights barstool to this mornings shower
waiting for you to arrive.
I started to think I shouldn’t believe
between blooming flowers and falling leaves
just a string of tapestries the sandman weaves
a futile fantasy
but in the darkest hour of my despair
I opened the door and you were there
leather jacket and jet black hair
a six string on your back.
and every moment since that day
you take my strife and breath away
for the very first time I kneel and pray
and thank the universe for you.

Posted in Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/05/15/joshua/feed/ 0 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/03/03/end-of-the-line/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/03/03/end-of-the-line/#comments Tue, 03 Mar 2009 15:02:07 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/03/03/end-of-the-line/ ]]> I learned this morning, as the icy fangs of winter pierced my fingers and toes, that the hardest wounds to heal are those we inflict upon ourselves.
My tires spin on this road I have taken to avoid those universal truths in the rear view mirror, yet it’s the lies I have told myself that brought me full circle and landed me directly at their front door.
Forced to ring the bell and stare into their cold black eyes, I pray to the Gods of unrequited love to smite the snake oil peddlers of romance and happily ever afters, that I may untangle my guts and exorcise these fantasies.
Like a lost child, I cross the threshold with my heart in my hands.
The windows in this room block out the light of hope with more practical décor such as
reality and logic.
I hold up here in the corner, I live between the slats in the blinds, for it is better to feel just a sliver of warmth cross my face and daydream about how it could have been, how I wanted it to be, than wake up and exist without it.

Posted in Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/03/03/end-of-the-line/feed/ 0 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/02/05/yeah-like-that/ http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/02/05/yeah-like-that/#comments Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:01:54 +0000 imbrued http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/02/05/yeah-like-that/ ]]> How fortuitous this kiss,
to have found me over the cluttered table,
and under the radar.
What else you got in that bag of tricks Slick?
Show stopping slight of hand?
Water into wine?
I can taste the tarnish on your silver tongue.
Ive seen this act before,
What say we fast forward to where you disappear?

Posted in Uncategorized ]]> http://imbrued.wordpress.com/2009/02/05/yeah-like-that/feed/ 0 imbrued